luck of the draw...

it has been time for a new post for little while now. but what to say?

this week, i have been confronted with several cases of mental health quandaries that have gotten me to thinking.

this week amy and i watched a movie where michael douglas and evan rachel wood were delightful in giving a subtle portrayal of a sad family life in a comical and touching way. this week, i also saw multiple teens and pre-teens in the er who were admitted on 5150 holds (you know, the commitment to a mental institution that britney spears underwent recently--the kind where many of your basic human rights are stripped away and psychiatrists and social workers take control of your life in a way few people have to endure?). these kids have been through traumatic life events...sexual abuse by a brother, years of physical abuse from angry fathers. these kids were acting out in dangerous and suicidal ways. really sad and heartbreaking stuff. cute kids. kids you would see at the middle school during recess and think, "boy, that looks like a fun-loving, sharp kid".

what makes for success in this life? lets not go even so far as to say success. what makes for stability and the ability to make it through life without commission to a legal or mental institution where all or most of your rights are stripped from you and you are unable to live a free life?

my answer? i don't know. how about luck and hard work. maybe not even hard work. luck and enough emotional stability to keep plugging away with some semblance of consistency and competency.

for instance, why was i so lucky to have an immediate and extended family where nearly every member...all 100 or so that loved me to varying degrees. sure, there were members who were (and definitely still are) annoyed by me, but none of them ever came close to hurting me physically or even emotionally. most them would never dream of doing that to anyone. this type of love and nurture is not known by all people. in some communities, this type love and nurture is only known by the small majority of its members.

what makes the difference? to say i'm blessed is certainly appropriate when i kneel before God in prayer and gratitude. to say i'm blessed is certainly important in becoming a humble and bearable person with whom to interact. however, it sounds smug and unkind to the child who was abused for years and struggles to interact on an intimate emotional level with his close acquaintances for doubts, fears, anxiety, anger and suicidal thoughts.

this is not to say those with difficult lives can't live full, happy and successful lives. it is to say that they have a steeper hill to climb. it does mean that their successes are that much more hard fought and won.

so here's to luck and consistency. here's to my opportunity to be in an emotionally well state in my life. here's to my need to give back to those around me. to be circumspect and thoughtful in my dealings with others who have been battered by awful things in their life--things out of their control. they deserve my respect and less judgment from me.