i've been thinking lately about change. people go through awful and wonderful things everyday and often these events cause change. others only change incrementally for years, even decades of their lives. our lives are a sea of interactions and we drift and bump about in that sea--drawing closer and further from those around us. this drifting can be pleasant, nauseating, dull, exhilirating and gut wrenching. i feel the voyage is worth it. change happens and is the stuff life is made of.
16 comments:
sometimes, when i re-read what i've written i'm reminded of michael scott...
As you very well know I have always hated change. I am actually in the process of framing a picture with a saying by
Dr. Suess. It says,"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." I guess that is our challenge to live and be happy in the present.
Life's changes? I love the rollercoaster (The Beast, perhaps?) metaphor that I am quite certain is in the movie "Parenthood."
Nice picture
I always enjoy your thought provoking posts, paul. Don't worry, your comments weren't nearly awkward enough to be compared to michael scott's. Plust you didn't claim to have some kind of "knack", like Matt did with his last post. Stay humble and keep enlightening us paul.
I agree with what you said. Life is filled with change, but no matter what life throws at us, we need to do what makes us happy. Change provides challenge, and a monotonous, unchanging life sounds quite boring if you ask me.
But no life really is UNchanging... monotonous, maybe.
I like the saying that mom f. is framing. It reminds me of what my newly-widowed grandmother keeps saying--"It hurts so much because I love so much."
I am fascinated that with each change that "happens" to us, we must change to accomodate it. They come in pairs. The change that "happens" may be out of our control (perhaps it was planned, but who knows how it will turn out??). But the way we choose to accomodate it is within some degree of control for us. To me, that is what makes change not so scary. I always have some control in how I experience things.
commenting is blocked at my new hospital, so i haven't talked for a while.
mom: i like your new quote. you will weather change resiliantly. it sounds like your trip to the legislature has opened new potentially interesting experiences.
dad r: i guess i need to watch parenthood again. the picture is ambivalent and thank you.
aj: it's good to hear that michael scott doesn't remind you of me. i'll have to shake that thought from my mind. change is change. i think my mom's quote about dealing with change in a positive way allows for hope in life.
i go back and forth on what boring means. some would say the 'boring' life is the ideal (no sudden suprises, predictability, the ability to choose what you want when you want it). i would say a slice of boring with the determination for continual self-improvement is a good mix of the fast and slow lane.
and heaven knows i try to avoid driving in the fast lane...
amy: you always have control...even when i embarass you.
matt: angela has the knack.
Interesting that you posted this comment, Paul. It is something I have heard a lot of people discussing lately, and there sure is a lot of "wanting to know why" when tragic events strike during life:
Why did this have to happen? Why did things have to change? Why couldn't I see this comming? These are questions that everyone asks, and no one can really answer with a limited mortal perspective.
Taking another perspective on lifes challanges (such as the Dr. Suess quote) can help us to cope with the changes that come and not become obsessed with unanswerable questions.
A.J.'s comment about happiness is a whole other animal worth lines and lines of commentary, but I need to go and exercise my self-proclaimed "knack" right now.
good luck with the car matty.
"happiness is the object and design of our existence..." joseph smith
Yet there are so many that never find it, though they are searching all their lives. They seem to only find satisfaction, which goes as quickly as it comes.
i like the picture. did you take it?
Happiness? I like what Richard Bushman said in an interview Paul and I listened to together. He talked about measuring things (namely "truth") in life by their goodness. "Is it good?" Just like judging by the fruits. I am happy when I do good, participate in good things, and find new good things to bring into my life. Goodness makes me feel content--but moves me to improve at the same time.
But I guess goodness is relative, too.
There are a lot of ways to look at change. I like every day trivial changes. Things like rearranging the furniture, getting your hair cut, going out to eat once in a while, and having a day off from the usual grind. Change can be refreshing and rejuvenating. But trivial changes come with trivial challenges: bruises from running into the rearranged furniture until you get used to it, regret at the lost inches from your hair, the lower numbers in your bank account after eating out, etc. I like to think of big changes the same way. It's easy to look at a situation and see the negative that comes from life altering events, but every change comes with a blessing. Some may not be as apparent as others, but the blessings are what make us who we are if we let them. After all, isn't that why we're here? To change and grow until we become perfect even as he is perfect? I know I have a lot of changes to make before that happens, and I'll need more life altering events to help me become perfected.
didn't take the picture. sorry to dissapoint.
libby: i'll give you that every change comes with a 'blessing'. however, the 'blessing' may be far outweighed by the dire, awful, unfathomable reality of the change. it may be that the blessing is only true if there is an afterlife where justice will be accorded.
Change really is a powerful constant in our lives. I refer you to Ecclestastes 3, " To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted,
A time to kill, and a time to heal; time to weep, time to laugh, tiem to mourn time to dance etc.
The longer I live the more convinced I am that change is "the" way of life. Enjoy it all, even the difficult times... actually this is when I feel I have grown the most.
Aunt Joan and I were at the mall the other day watching all the young parents with their little kids and started remembering when Jeff, Brian, Brad and Devin were one and two years old... how does the song go, "sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset...It is so true.
It was so fun to be young parents. We loved it. Now, our "season" is "grandparentdom". We love this time of our lives. There is joy in every season. Enjoy the one you are in. It is always the best.
it helps that your grandkids are so cute!
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